Why Do I Keep Doing This?
In a lot of aspects, I’m really just trying to see where I fit in. And when I think about this blog and doing it daily since November 4th, I do continually ask myself why. Why do I keep doing this?
One reason is a bit of a diary. Even though I don’t go back and read it that much, if ever, I do like having a record of all the scheming, all the musical scheming that I come up with. Case in point is the last 3 or 4 days, trying to modernize my sound with more modern house, maybe some deep house elements, and that’s all fine and good.
But my biggest strength is that I do what I do pretty well.
Had a great Daphne Falls rehearsal last night and came up with some really cool parts. There is some alchemy going on between the three of us, and what I do really slots in. And that thing that I do, bringing 80s new romantic, new wave, synthy stuff into today, really works.
So why can’t I just be happy and do that?
I’ve criticized people for the same thing. And so I ask myself, why can’t I just be happy with that? And the answer is, I don’t know, but I should be.
So instead of trying something new this morning, I went down and tried to be me and came up with something good/ cool for sync, which still is working for me. It’s still a thing.
So one of the things that this blog does is it keeps me going. Oddly, it keeps me accountable to myself. I know that I’ve come out and said these things and gone on a little tangent. But maybe I’ll go on a little less of a tangent and learn from it. And that’s been great.
But that’s not to say that readership isn’t growing very slowly. It takes a lot. Whereas there was, pitifully, 60 reads a week, now there’s 80. Maybe that’ll get up to 100. Maybe something will hit. Maybe it won’t, but it doesn’t matter.
Because there are all kinds of side benefits too.
There’s the holding yourself accountable, but also, my speech-to-text skills have really improved. Lots of ums and ahs and oohs are all gone. And I can really speak succinctly. I’m noticing at work, when I use speech-to-text, that it’s getting super succinct.
As I’ve talked about, I’m a light AI user, but what I do use it for is editing and organizing. And I have a rule with it that it only can edit and organize 3%. It’s taken me a while to get there, but together, me and AI have figured out how for it to be an effective organizer, but not really an editor.
So again, it’s helping me. Not AI, the blog that is. It’s helping me think more succinctly, because I know I’ve got to essentially present my case to a few people out there, but mainly to myself.
So this morning, I’m just going to go forward with what I do. Pay attention to new stuff, not consciously try to work it in, and let it work itself in over the course of time, like any good music.
It really does better when it’s not forced.