Just Happy to Be There
I saw two shows yesterday.
The first was a gig a little bit out of town. Two of my friends were playing with a fantastic country artist, and it was fun to go see them do their thing. A long time ago the three of us were in a band together, and I was not happy when that broke up because it was huge for me. They were way better than I was and way more popular, and I busted my ass to make that work and was sometimes successful.
Now, there was a time I wouldāve been bitter beans about them playing around and all that kind of stuff. But today Iām doing my own thing. Happily. I work real hard to figure out what it is, who I am today, and what Iām gonna do next. That gives me the space to really enjoy what theyāre doing, drama free.
Itās so easy to fall into catty patterns when youāre a musician and go to the old āwhy not me.ā I just donāt have any of that in me.
Thatās not to say I didnāt used to. I was, in the early 2010's, non-playing and not writing. I didnāt practice. I always thought I would be a writer, or I was a writer, but I wasnāt writing. And thatās not being a writer. Writers write. Thatās what they do.
Later yesterday I went to see a buddy play whoās been off and on in my songwriting group. I actually introduced him to it. He hassuch a wonderful, magical voice, so when he joined he got a (due) crazy amount of attention from everyone. Again, Iād been writing long enough to just enjoy it, just like I enjoyed his record release last night. I was so happy for him.
Sure, his record wouldāve been 100 times better if I was on it ā but Iām kidding. Iām not a fit for it. The other guys were such a great fit for what heās going for.
Younger me wouldāve been green with envy. Now I can just go to these different shows and enjoy them. Iām just happy to be there. Happy to be supportive. Happy to fill the tip jar. Happy to buy a record. Happy to invite friends. Enjoying some time with friends and family.
What else could you want out of a musical life?