Getting Weird After 20 Days
So an interesting thing happens when you commit to a daily blog — or at least it happened to me. I’m a little over 20 days in, and I honestly don’t think I can say I’m “committed” until I hit 30. And really, 60. After 60 days, I think this thing is locked in. Not forever, but long enough that missing a day would feel strange.
The strange part is that you end up becoming more honest with yourself because you’re putting it out there. It’s counterintuitive. You’d think public writing would make you polish everything. But it’s the opposite.
Like yesterday’s post about buying gear. I don’t think I’ve ever admitted, even to myself, that sometimes I just like buying stuff. Seeing it written down, reading it back — that hit me harder than I expected.
This whole daily thing is weird like that. You learn who you really are.
I’ve learned I like buying things. I’ve learned I’ve grown. I’ve learned I don’t care what people think, and also that I absolutely do — both at once.
Maybe it’s age. Maybe it’s the effort to be real in a world where “keeping it real” mostly means posing for Instagram. But writing every day makes me more transparent than I’ve ever been.
A few years ago, I met some family I hadn’t been connected with before. I knew immediately I wanted to stay connected to them, which meant I had to sit there and lay out a completely honest summary of who I’d been for the last 47 years. No spin. No softening. Just truth.
This blog feels like a continuation of that — saying, “This is who I am as an artist.” I want honest people to connect with, people who will actually listen and tell me what they think. I’m done with pats on the back. Don’t need them. Don’t want them.
This daily practice is making me more honest than anything else I’ve ever done. At least about music anyway.